Perspectives on goals, values, and what defines them are as different from person to person, as people are unique unto themselves as a group. That being said, as different as we all are, common threads of experience run through all of our lives. Some of those threads are fact-based, while others are meaning-based. It is at the boundary between those two areas where life gets interesting.
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.”
—Robert A. Heinlein
Men, you are human beings too. You are imbued with a dignity that you can tap into if you recognize it. There has been a great deal of discussion about what makes up a contemporary “gentleman” and after polling numerous professional woman who are confident in their own dignity and their own professions, here are some suggestions for men today to keep in mind.
I am often asked why I changed from agriculture to coaching, particularly when you consider how much I simply loved every part of growing trees.
I read a book the other day that made these suggestions and/or asked these questions of the reader:
- “Consider your circumstances
- Start small
- Have you taken full advantage of the opportunities offered to you?
- Are you working hard on your career, or even your job?
- Are you letting bitterness and resentment hold you back and drag you down?
- Have you made peace with your brother or sister?
- Are you treating your spouse and your children with dignity and respect?
- Do you have habits that are destroying your health and well-being?
- Are you truly shouldering your responsibilities?
- Have you said what you need to say to your friends and family members?
- Are there things that you could do, that you know you could do, that would make things around you better?”
Not so fast….
If you are 30 or younger you are currently living in a unique historical situation. You are the first generation that has been simultaneously taught two completely contradictory ideas about morality. This contradiction has left many of you uncertain or maybe disoriented in a way that, deprived of guidance that many of us had over the years, leaves you unable to enjoy the depth of a world of which you fail to even be aware.
You might think that being human, you are a member of the alpha species. However, when you use the word “human,” people often think of traits such as faulty, fallible, or guilty. It might just be that we are at our most fallible when we get in our own way.
It helps your long-term memory?
I know that sleep isn’t the sexiest of topics. I have blogs that have been a lot more exciting. That being said though, sleep is one of the most important things we do each day and it is one of the least understood things in life. Research indicates that the brain minimizes clutter and maximizes memory with sleep. That being said, here’s a factoid about sleep that might surprise you:
How narcissists can be so ridiculously disarming.
Most people—even the most narcissistic—claim that being around a narcissist brings little joy.
We all cultivate a voice inside our heads that criticizes, chastises, and judges us and what we do, no matter what it is.
Have you ever tried to change a habit? Maybe tried to start losing weight by not thinking about food? Have you tried to play the cool one and not call—or email or text—a romantic interest by blocking out your thoughts about that person? How about trying to stop smoking by trying not to think about smoking?…
Do you ever feel like the people you work with don’t really get you? I know you have, because likely as not, they probably don’t. But the real question is: Why?